I See You’ve Played Knifey-Spooney Before

I can’t take credit for this story, but I think its far too fantastic to not retell. It comes to me from my former, and the former, Sous Chef at a Meatpacking District restaurant I used to work at. During a slow service one night, we were talking about whether or not it was smart to take your knives home every night and were exchanging stories about whether or not we’d ever been stopped by the police. I mean, how do you explain to a New York City cop that you’ve got 8 knives of varying size strapped to your back?
So the story goes, when he was working at a Celebrity Chef owned Midtown restaurant they had a Garde Manger Guy who lived in the Bronx and used to take the 6 train home when they were finished breaking down for the night. Apparently one night, they went out drinking after an especially tough but rewarding service and it was well after 2, a.m. when Garde Manger Guy finally jumped on the 6. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m not too keen on getting on the 6 train at noon, let alone 2 in the morning. Anyway, Garde Manger Guy gets on the train and proceeds to read or zone out or do whatever it is that you do when you get on the 6 train at 51st Street and take it up to the Bronx.
So there’s this “Young Kid” sitting on the train listening to a brand new green iPod Mini. At the time, the Mini’s had only been out for a short while, and this was apparently one of the first one’s that was colored, or at least one of the first one’s anyone had seen. So at some point, a guy gets on the train and sits across from the Young Kid. After another stop or two, the guy stands up and goes over to the Young Kid.
“Hey, that’s a pretty cool iPod, can I see it?”
The Young Kid hands the guy the Mini, with the intention of holding onto it, and after a few seconds the guy is holding it in his hand. Then the kid asks for the Mini back, to which the guy responds ,”it’s mine now.” The Young Kid stands up and attempts to get his Mini back but the guy produces a switchblade from his jacket and says, “Whatcha gonna do now, huh?”
Meanwhile, Garde Manger Guy has been watching this whole thing transpire. Quietly as possible, he opens up his kniferoll and removes his 10-inch Henckel Chef’s knife. Then he walks down the train car to where the Young Kid and the other guy are standing. “Give it back,” says Garde Manger Guy. “Oh yeah, whatchu gonna do about it?” says the other guy, as he turns around and comes face to face with 10 inches of sharpened German steel. He looks at Garde Manger Guy, looks at the Mini in his hand; the plug still attached to the Kids headphones; and at the Young Kid and then back at the knife. Then he looks down at his own knife, a flimsy 2 ½ inch piece of metal.
Needless to say, after I heard that story, where ever I go my knives go with me.