If You Want to Help Me, Stay Out of My Kitchen

Sweet Potato S'Mores, from like Thanksgiving 2007 (?)

The five weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas are easily my favourite time of the year. The weather has gotten colder, but not oppressively cold like February; the clocks have just been turned back so the days and nights are still not totally out of whack and most importantly…there’s the food.

Last Thanksgiving I was working, so I think it was Thanksgiving 2007, I was in Vegas at my step-brother, BC’s, place cooking dinner for he, my mom, step-dad and a couple of BC’s friends.

I wanted to blow the doors off and cook an amazing meal, a meal they wouldn’t forget and I think I got a bit ahead of myself and probably cooked the meal I wanted them to like rather than the meal I truly thought they would like. My mother had made sure we could get a Kosher turkey in Vegas, which I brined overnight; I made sweet potato S’Mores; a pecan-sage stuffing with pork sausage; a Chicory salad with candied walnuts, Gorgonzola cheese, raisins and a sherry-orange vinaigrette; roasted garlic mashed potatoes; and a bunch of stuff I can’t even remember.

I was definitely a terror in the kitchen. I was young and cocky and basically saw my family members as a hindrance rather than as free labour there to assist me with the peeling of potatoes, melting of marshmallows and washing of Frisée. Being the crazed maniac I was, I carried my behavior into Christmas; where I had everything timed out to the minute…cooking a coursed out Christmas dinner with several dishes, each with multiple components and all of it cooked by me alone. At one point, my mother popped her head in the kitchen and asked if there was anything she could do to help. Now in my defense, I will say that I had planned everything to a T, and knew the minute everything would be ready for our 4 o’clock start time and my mother had been back and forth in the kitchen to ask if we were still on schedule. So when she popped her head in the kitchen around ten past three to ask if she could help; I answered her with the only thing that came to mind, “if you want to help me, stay out of the kitchen until 4 PM when the food’s on the table.” In hindsight, it was definitely not the way to talk to my mother, on Christmas Day, no less…and it got me temporarily banned from her kitchen.

This year, I plan on doing it right. I’ll be in Vegas again, and this time, BC, if you’re reading this…I’m putting you to work! I’m also going to be nice, I’m not going to freak out and shoo my family out of the kitchen, and most importantly, I’m going to listen to their ideas; although I am going to do the S’Mores again.

Next Time: Sweet Potato S'Mores, Playing with Knives & Gambling Before Breakfast